My life has been an interesting book. Some chapters leave the reader disappointed at what could have been or what should have been and some chapters will leave you crying and wishing that the hands of time could be reversed and events erased. With disappointment and pain comes a chance to rise stronger and smarter. With every healing laceration is a period of scabbing then a scar– the scar is not pretty but is tougher than the original layer of skin. I’m scarred up a bit.
I look back and realize there is a disconnect in very important relationships in my life. People that I should be appreciating and showing my unconditional love to have somehow become strangers to me, or the “me” I have become. I will work on that. Life doesn’t always pan out in a neat and organized time line of good times and success. Life doesn’t owe you an explanation or an IOU. Life actually doesn’t give a shit if your disappointed in the way it is treating you. Just having “life”, the opportunity to “live your life” and the air in your lungs to complain about “life” is proof enough that you have something valuable. Priceless even.
Don’t get me wrong– my story has absolute moments of joy, love, happiness and comfort– more good than bad.
As I go into 2010 I approach it with a clarity that I’m not quite used to. I have an understanding that I might have acquired taking the long way around but shit, at least I’m here. As I end another chapter of this book I realize that everything that has happened was for a reason and helped me reach the place that I am now. I am genuinely happy about that.
To all the characters in my book, I thank you for participating. Your role was necessary and important. I appreciate your contribution.
As I move forward, I will do so with a new found energy and positivity. The new year will bring new challenges, new goals and new accomplishments. I will look for the sun and appreciate it when it shines, not just when it rains.
2009, thank you for everything. I owe you one.
To my brother Franco— One more year closer to our reunion. I’m in no rush bro, I still have things to do.
See you on the other side of midnight.
Frank The Butcher / FRANKMATIC™
